He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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