I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
