I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
