can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.