idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
