Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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