i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
