i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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