I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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