ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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