Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I would ride that face into the sunset
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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