Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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