I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question