She is in my trunk
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.