Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
