I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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