walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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