so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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