For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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