maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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