Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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