just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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