Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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