What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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