I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
