Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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