I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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