Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
