I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
