I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
