He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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