Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You ruined the universe
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
