Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
