Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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