i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize