I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
