honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
