she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
