I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
