look no pants
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
