Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
