we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
