Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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