We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
