i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ugly people sure do ruin things
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
