Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Floor bacon is actually really good
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
