Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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