i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
