do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
