I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
