i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
