Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
