Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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