Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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