Soap is not a condiment
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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