before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
