I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize