you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
