I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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