I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
