i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
