Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
